hullo, strangers

hello hello to anyone out there who still stops in under the 'brella from time to time to see what's what. i'm obviously on a bit of a hiatus, getting my west coast life togethers and haven't had much time for postings. 7 weeks have sped by at a head-spinning speed. oddly and surprisingly enough, i kinda miss my renegade side, so i reckon things will pick back up soon around these parts. in the meantime, i've been settling into SF, working on making it mine (though this, i can tell, will take a lot of time), job searching, applying for the california bar exam (cringe), decorating the new abode (always a favorite past time, revived), cooking (lots of seafood, at that!), hitting the beaches, walking the dingo, and taking the shit out of some baths. wait, no, strike that. shit is in no way involved in my bathing. i mean that after 2 plus years without a bathtub, i have one again, and i didn't know how very much i missed it. but now i know, and it was a lot. i will never again go back to a stand-up shower only. am averaging 1.5 baths per day, and i don't see it slowing. not stay-in-so-long-i'm-pruny baths, mind you, but just a quick wade about is such a pleasant way to start and end the day... another simple pleasure, curtains blowing in the breeze. the windows are open nearly everyday, and the sun shines bright bright bright. the apartment is small and modest, but the view is f'amazing, and after years with zero-to-no natural light, it is like a rebirth. light switches aren't so much as touched until at least 5pm. she who is a bear in the morning has *almost* no trouble waking up every morn by 7 without looking back. life isn't perfect... there are missing pieces aplenty, there is the loneliness inherent in moving to a new place, and it's possible i've cried more in the last 2 months than the rest of the year combined.... but it's part of the process of starting anew, having time to think about things once removed from what was, in certain respects, becoming a mind-numbing cycle. so far i feel genuinely good about my decision. now it's all about making it truly worth it, which means figuring out how to use this as a catalyst to a more satisfying career and so on... it's going to take a lot of work. although i'm amidst a momentary respite of sorts, this isn't the path of least resistance, but here we go...