debate

things are about to change, significantly, and all at once. i, a woman of unwaivering indecision, have been thinking something over for several months now, talking here and there, internalizing others' advice and opinions, parsing through them all and mine. realizing it's me, myself and i who will, in the end, bear most of the consequences, i finally made up my mind. now the sandstorm of to-dos....it's in motion and happening so fast due to detail this and detail that, timing this and timing that and a little bit of "let's do this before I start blubbering all over myself." i'm moving. i'm leaving chicago. there i said it. oh man, i can't quite describe the swirl of emotions it gets going. many from within me... i'm in love with chicago, i was the moment i met it. i'm in love with my experiences here, my friends here, who have in all variety of ways come and gone and come again, the food, the character the cold has given me, the warmth of the people, the architecture, feeling genuinely at home here from the get go... and many emotions from outside too, both expected and somewhat unexpected. there are naysayers and yaysayers alike, both with very valid points, but there came a time i looked at what i'm working with and went with the voice inside. it's not always consistent, but there is one that rings a little truer than all the others. i'll be writing more about this soon, but there it is. i haven't even mentioned yet where i'm going and why because at the moment i'm in the grieving and romanticizing chicago stage... when i get to the next stop i'll start my slow embrace. i'll be taking care of moving bidness with chin tucked for the next couple weeks... there will be radio silence here under the umbrella... to be picked up again on the flipside. wish me luck, i'm going to need it!