Renegade Umbrella

I'M MOVING

2011-11-03T18:01:00.002-05:00

packing up, jumping blogspot ship, and moving over thisaway...

over here! Nope, not there either... HERE (la tour adore). Hope to see you there soon.

not sure yet how consistent i'll be, but let's see if a hosting site that actually works and allows me to post stuffs will help in that endeavor.

see y'all on the flipside.

happiness is...

2011-07-19T17:07:00.002-05:00

snoop channeling dr. huxtable.

studying for the cali bar and needed a break and a smile. this here's the source.

do so love love her voice

2011-07-19T17:06:00.001-05:00

sometimes it just hits the spot, don't it.

Botton Beliefs

2011-03-27T17:51:00.007-05:00

As I get myself back on the renegade path, a few gems of insight from the only tweeter i follow, sir alain de botton.... Great conversations are like beautiful squares in foreign cities one finds at night and then don't know how to get back to in daytime. Work only starts when the fear of doing nothing finally exceeds the fear of doing something badly. Who are we sad for when we cry over the death of a fictional character? Forgiveness depends on a sense that nastiness is an expression of suffering, not maliciousness. Adult love shouldn't be about remembering what it was like to be loved as a child, but imagining what it took for a parent to love us. Laziness in relationships endemic because our earliest experience of love was with people who disguised the work that went into it. Nagging: when we are too exhausted to be able to convince and charm others into recognising the legitimacy of our needs. Faith in man's generosity and open-mindedness rarely survives a scroll down the Guardian's Comments' logs. In 24 hrs, the true self peaks out only in the 10mins before and after sleep. The child smothers the passion from which it emerged; that made its existence possible. Getting to the top has a miraculous ability to persuade people that the system is OK. Hypochondria is just a form of wonder at how improbable it is to be alive. Fewer greater aphrodisiacs than for an attractive woman to say:'for a long time, I've been so lonely' A simple problem of arithmetic: there are far more ambitions than there are grand destinies available. Monogamy is a fine ideal but when someone says of their partner 'I trust them a 1000%,' it's hard not to feel a little depressed. Is that things are OK proof that it was ridiculous to worry - or are things OK only because one worried? So many relationships spoilt by our tendency to become mean when we are in fact hurt. The drugs we really need wouldn't make us high, rather reliably connect us with who we already are at our best. So different are their life experiences, beautiful women and ugly men might as well be classed as different species. When trying to decode weird behaviour of others, think of the simple explanations and basic emotions: fear, envy, guilt... Most projects take so long to work out, life becomes like a song in which someone constantly presses pause. oh Alain, you inspire me so. he's good. he's really really good. annoying that my first post in quite awhile can't get the damn formatting correct. i've only tried about 8 times to get these quotables on lines by themselves. to no avail. annoying. blogspot, this is not a warm welcome back.

hullo, strangers

2011-03-07T18:08:00.003-06:00

hello hello to anyone out there who still stops in under the 'brella from time to time to see what's what. i'm obviously on a bit of a hiatus, getting my west coast life togethers and haven't had much time for postings. 7 weeks have sped by at a head-spinning speed. oddly and surprisingly enough, i kinda miss my renegade side, so i reckon things will pick back up soon around these parts. in the meantime, i've been settling into SF, working on making it mine (though this, i can tell, will take a lot of time), job searching, applying for the california bar exam (cringe), decorating the new abode (always a favorite past time, revived), cooking (lots of seafood, at that!), hitting the beaches, walking the dingo, and taking the shit out of some baths. wait, no, strike that. shit is in no way involved in my bathing. i mean that after 2 plus years without a bathtub, i have one again, and i didn't know how very much i missed it. but now i know, and it was a lot. i will never again go back to a stand-up shower only. am averaging 1.5 baths per day, and i don't see it slowing. not stay-in-so-long-i'm-pruny baths, mind you, but just a quick wade about is such a pleasant way to start and end the day... another simple pleasure, curtains blowing in the breeze. the windows are open nearly everyday, and the sun shines bright bright bright. the apartment is small and modest, but the view is f'amazing, and after years with zero-to-no natural light, it is like a rebirth. light switches aren't so much as touched until at least 5pm. she who is a bear in the morning has *almost* no trouble waking up every morn by 7 without looking back. life isn't perfect... there are missing pieces aplenty, there is the loneliness inherent in moving to a new place, and it's possible i've cried more in the last 2 months than the rest of the year combined.... but it's part of the process of starting anew, having time to think about things once removed from what was, in certain respects, becoming a mind-numbing cycle. so far i feel genuinely good about my decision. now it's all about making it truly worth it, which means figuring out how to use this as a catalyst to a more satisfying career and so on... it's going to take a lot of work. although i'm amidst a momentary respite of sorts, this isn't the path of least resistance, but here we go...

just one more thing...

2011-01-07T11:08:00.001-06:00

a cat ear.

debate

2011-01-07T10:58:00.004-06:00

things are about to change, significantly, and all at once. i, a woman of unwaivering indecision, have been thinking something over for several months now, talking here and there, internalizing others' advice and opinions, parsing through them all and mine. realizing it's me, myself and i who will, in the end, bear most of the consequences, i finally made up my mind. now the sandstorm of to-dos....it's in motion and happening so fast due to detail this and detail that, timing this and timing that and a little bit of "let's do this before I start blubbering all over myself." i'm moving. i'm leaving chicago. there i said it. oh man, i can't quite describe the swirl of emotions it gets going. many from within me... i'm in love with chicago, i was the moment i met it. i'm in love with my experiences here, my friends here, who have in all variety of ways come and gone and come again, the food, the character the cold has given me, the warmth of the people, the architecture, feeling genuinely at home here from the get go... and many emotions from outside too, both expected and somewhat unexpected. there are naysayers and yaysayers alike, both with very valid points, but there came a time i looked at what i'm working with and went with the voice inside. it's not always consistent, but there is one that rings a little truer than all the others. i'll be writing more about this soon, but there it is. i haven't even mentioned yet where i'm going and why because at the moment i'm in the grieving and romanticizing chicago stage... when i get to the next stop i'll start my slow embrace. i'll be taking care of moving bidness with chin tucked for the next couple weeks... there will be radio silence here under the umbrella... to be picked up again on the flipside. wish me luck, i'm going to need it!

olives

2011-01-07T10:10:00.001-06:00

oh olives, you are straight from the heavens. you know how when you silently mouth "olive juice" it looks like "i love you." well, olive juice, olives.

"gonna take you for a ride..."

2011-01-04T10:05:00.000-06:00

into the foggy unknown....

2010-12-30T12:22:00.001-06:00

is where i think i'm about to go. and i like it. like it. yes i do. (when i'm not fearing it)

tomorrow, tomorrow

2010-12-30T12:14:00.000-06:00

not a creature was stirring

2010-12-30T12:11:00.002-06:00

...except an anthropomorphized nutcracker. this image brought a flood of nostalgia for my family's once-annual tradition of attending the nutcracker ballet at christmas. we haven't been in some time now, and i miss it. i know christmas is over, but i'm still in the holidaze.

peeps

2010-12-30T10:47:00.001-06:00

pretty on a plate

2010-12-30T10:46:00.004-06:00

or cutting board. rarely have i seen celery look so pretty... nor sliced meats so tasty. or maybe i'm just hungry after the stomach-stretching holidays and craving something that does not contain massive amounts of starch and/or sugar. did i mention i'm fat.

karate chop

2010-12-30T10:46:00.002-06:00

i love roos.

dreamy

2010-12-30T10:45:00.005-06:00

or are we? lately i have the strangest feeling that things are more real in my sleep and the second i wake up it all feels so surreal... cue the twilight zone tune.

comfort

2010-12-30T10:45:00.004-06:00

liz lemon, i love you. i've been having a lot of talking-tos with my food lately. ruh roh.

awwwww

2010-12-30T10:44:00.002-06:00

dude's cute.

angel bird

2010-12-30T10:44:00.001-06:00

via allcreatures

kitty sammie

2010-12-30T10:43:00.004-06:00

keep em where we can see em, little white guy. via at the end of the line

trust

2010-12-30T10:43:00.003-06:00

believe

2010-12-30T10:42:00.002-06:00

holly daze

2010-12-30T10:42:00.001-06:00

creepy cool

2010-12-30T10:41:00.000-06:00

via at the end of the line.

rumpled

2010-12-30T10:34:00.001-06:00

so i'm down to one set of bedsheets. i'm not sure what kind of respectable woman who resides in the land of thirty-something only has one set of bedsheets. i guess this kind, assuming i am respectable. but as mr. cordy, our peeping tom (he was prosecuted) shop teacher in middle school always said, "assuming makes an ass out of u and me." what's worse, my sheets are hand-me-downs from gracie the amazing AND they are torn and tattered. they were so darn soft and lovely that i believe they were particularly delicate and after a few years of washings (and such, i'll say no more) they are literally tearing to pieces. and yet for the life of me it's one of those to-dos that continues to fall through the i can't be bothered cracks. i can't count the number of times i've gone onto overstock, found a set of respectable thread count that seems too good to pass up, put it in my cart, but couldn't seem to click "checkout." so i put it upon my family to get me some new sheets for christmas, and my sister came through. but not so fast! when i went to wash the sheets this morning, much to my wondering eyes did NOT appear a fitted sheet. the package was clearly supposed to include a flat sheet, a fitted sheet and 2 pillowcases, but the blasted fitted sheet (the one most in need of replacement), was nowhere to be found!! it seems the cosmos does not want me to have new bedsheets. i can't imagine why the cosmos would care, but i do believe i will respect its wishes. for at least another couple weeks anyway.

cookies galore

2010-12-30T10:33:00.000-06:00

this is actually an x-ray glimpse into my stomach after a happy happy christmas. i'm fat.

pretty as rosy hose

2010-12-30T10:31:00.000-06:00

pretty, colorful tights are definitely one of my favorite style options these days. even with a run. and a hole in the big toe, which mine usually end up getting. is there anything more irritating than the feeling of your big toe poking through your tights and into your shoe?? i daresay there is not.

balls

2010-12-30T10:29:00.002-06:00

bumballs! i mean, gumballs! that was a typo, but i have to leave it b/c "bumballs" just made me laugh.

pretty as a pink mini

2010-12-30T10:28:00.000-06:00

via where the lovely things are

deets

2010-12-30T10:27:00.000-06:00

via designismine

wanderlost

2010-12-22T11:14:00.000-06:00

via thewheatfield

dorky

2010-12-21T18:19:00.003-06:00

and little chuckle funny

settle

2010-12-21T18:19:00.001-06:00

big birds in a crowded pond

2010-12-21T18:13:00.001-06:00

why does this crowded pond make me hungry?

oui oui

2010-12-21T18:12:00.002-06:00

A TOAST

2010-12-21T18:12:00.001-06:00

pretty as a peacock

2010-12-21T18:11:00.001-06:00

go-jiss. really, isn't it just amazing...

not so sure this is true

2010-12-21T09:46:00.000-06:00

...but it sounds good.

cue jaws soundtrack

2010-12-17T09:42:00.001-06:00

via, what else, allcreatures. paws are some of the cutest things in this whole wide world i think. even the word is cute. paws.

ouch

2010-12-17T09:41:00.002-06:00

"sir, would you kindly remove your fangs from my face, thanksverymuch." he looks so above it all.

via allcreatures

dogs in ties

2010-12-17T09:40:00.001-06:00

what more do i need to say. via eylth

set as desktop background

2010-12-17T09:39:00.000-06:00

pursuit of happiness

2010-12-17T09:38:00.002-06:00

cover by Lissie. she's a bit what's-her-face from what's-it-called (Fleetwood Mac), but she can really belt it out and i think i'm liking. via tkow.

the watch watch

2010-12-15T11:36:00.002-06:00

this one's dead sexy. and not affordable in the least. shocking.

where i wanna be

2010-12-15T11:35:00.000-06:00

i love this room. that's all.

set as desktop background

2010-12-15T11:34:00.000-06:00

it's a bit dizzying but makes me think of the ocean.

a thing for tomatoes

2010-12-15T11:33:00.001-06:00

i've got one of those too. i don't see green tomaHtoes too often, but these are making my mouth water. i want to crawl through the screen and crunch into them... they look not quite ripe yet so delicious.

rule of a gentleman no. 40

2010-12-15T11:31:00.002-06:00

so far i've been pretty lucky in this regard. i don't find myself overflowing with friends at 34, but the ones i have found are immeasurably treasured and truly irreplaceable.

does it?

2010-12-15T11:30:00.000-06:00

i hope so.

why do i want to eat this dress?

2010-12-15T11:28:00.003-06:00

because it looks like a giant chantrelle mushroom, that's why. via

a thing for candlesticks

2010-12-15T11:28:00.001-06:00

i've got one.

creepy cool

2010-12-15T11:06:00.009-06:00

a haunting and gorgeous installation by jason de Caires taylor via

"ships are launching from my chest"

2010-12-14T18:55:00.001-06:00

Welcome Home by Radical Face

pretty hilarious

2010-12-14T18:54:00.001-06:00

frame

2010-12-14T18:53:00.000-06:00

this reminds me that i got a unitard for this year's halloween costume... and i thought it was the silliest most useless thing until i tried it on. and liked it. unitards are comfy. there i said it.

shmexplain

2010-12-14T18:52:00.002-06:00

howl at the moon

2010-12-14T18:52:00.001-06:00

don't we all just want to do this sometimes... seems cathartic.

otter nonsense

2010-12-14T18:50:00.001-06:00

most of it is, really

love birds

2010-12-14T18:48:00.001-06:00

barrage of random images c/o a couple sites i just blew threw. mostly tkow and eylth

time

2010-12-14T18:47:00.002-06:00

pretty as 99 balloons

2010-12-14T18:47:00.001-06:00

a thing for pomegranates

2010-12-14T18:46:00.001-06:00

got one of those of late too

sage zippo

2010-12-14T18:45:00.001-06:00

goats on a sofa

2010-12-14T18:44:00.002-06:00

just 'cause

a thing for fire escapes

2010-12-14T18:44:00.001-06:00

yep still got one of those too

sending a message

2010-12-14T18:43:00.001-06:00

hot dogs

2010-12-14T18:42:00.004-06:00

those literally are hot dogs. i think they're steaming. love love love to see hunting dogs at work (even though they're... well... hunting) but you just know how much they love it.

make your own world

2010-12-14T18:42:00.001-06:00

a thing for chairs

2010-12-14T18:40:00.001-06:00

yep got one

pretty as a paw

2010-12-14T18:39:00.001-06:00

eylth

i heart may dent

2010-12-14T18:01:00.001-06:00

and here is is eating a cookie and crooning a xmas tune. yes pls.

love minus zero

2010-12-14T17:56:00.002-06:00

.... but she's true like ice like fire....

i'll take one

2010-12-14T17:56:00.001-06:00

but just a little longer please...

me

2010-12-14T17:53:00.003-06:00

for the last few days. minus the nice warm coat. puffy coat does not protection make in this kind of cold. baby it's cold outside.

another truesday

2010-12-14T17:53:00.001-06:00

well are you?

2010-12-14T17:52:00.003-06:00

tuesday cheese

2010-12-14T17:52:00.002-06:00

but true. truesday?

tuesday funny

2010-12-14T17:51:00.000-06:00

"cause two can keep a secret..."

2010-12-14T17:49:00.002-06:00

"...if one of them is dead."

forgot all about this song... the video's a bit silly, but the lyrics are wonderfully sinister

set as desktop background

2010-12-13T12:44:00.001-06:00

via sfgirlbybay

Dear December

2010-12-13T10:52:00.000-06:00

bed of oysters

2010-12-13T10:51:00.001-06:00

being oyster obsessed, i like the idea of sleeping in one.

pretty as a prima

2010-12-13T10:48:00.002-06:00

happy clay

2010-12-13T10:45:00.002-06:00

aptly named, as these really do make me a little happy just looking at them.

brick & mortals

2010-12-13T10:42:00.002-06:00

i love this photo. all that brick and then...a lady... in wings.

via

how to wrap a cat

2010-12-13T10:30:00.000-06:00

this made me chuckle.

shove it

2010-12-13T10:24:00.000-06:00

the year in celesbians

2010-12-10T14:00:00.002-06:00

i found this gallery of stories in the daily beast really inspiring and touching. i love the clip of Oprah talking about her (non-lesbian) relationship with Gayle King, and the story about the Mississippi prom. old news, but the girl sure has courage.

fresh-squeezed field

2010-12-10T11:10:00.004-06:00

why do i want to eat this field? nay, drink it. it made me thirsty for fresh-squeezed oj....

via

mental note

2010-12-10T11:09:00.001-06:00

decal birdies can look classy afterall. might have to do something like this in my next bedroom...

pretty as a hallway

2010-12-10T11:07:00.001-06:00

i always admired this Anthro rug and think it looks perfect in this nice crisp hallway. via

set as desktop background

2010-12-10T11:05:00.002-06:00

blurry xmas lights. via.... not doing well today keeping track... one of the usuals.

cute on a goat

2010-12-10T11:03:00.001-06:00

wait, is that a goat? if so, it looks like he makes a fine pillow.

a thing for chairs

2010-12-10T10:56:00.000-06:00

still got one. gorgeous.

pretty as a painting

2010-12-10T10:55:00.003-06:00

by Michelle Armas

ching ching

2010-12-10T10:41:00.002-06:00

pretty neat via

The Universe Nextdoor

2010-12-10T10:32:00.008-06:00

I can't tell what exactly is going on in these photographs by Abelardo Morell, but I can't stop looking at them to try to figure it out. Incredible, right?

via

party like it's 1929

2010-12-10T10:21:00.004-06:00

“She flirted because it was fun to flirt and she refused to be bored chiefly because she wasn’t boring. She was conscious that the things she did were the things she had always wanted to do. She had mostly masculine friends, but youth does not need friends - it needs only crowds…"

— Zelda Fitzgerald, Eulogy on the Flapper via

Tonight I'm headed back to SF for my 6th trip in as many months. First up is tonight's flapper holiday party, which I'm actually quite excited about. Mostly because the style of the 20s/30s is easily my most favorite, and because it is I had plenty of items on hand at home to make my outfit happen without spending a dime. perfect indeed. 23 skiddooo!!

"walking on a wire"

2010-12-09T11:59:00.002-06:00

learn more about this duo's album on the dissolution of their marriage here. i'm intrigued.

chilly optimism

2010-12-09T11:49:00.001-06:00